Now the most difficult thing for me is not to think about the white bear. It's really impossible, just try! And many questions in my mind like "what will happen with him?" make me nervous.

Today I have watched the movie "Perfume: The Story of a Murderer" by Tom Tykwer. It is a great movie as an artist's point of view. Some images were wonderful, I found out that I conceive the main characters of the same-named book exactly in that way that the director of the movie realized. When Laura, red-hair woman, appeared the first time, I caught oneself on feeling that I have already seen here somewhere, not in cinema. So, after the performance, I came to a conclusion that I saw her in my mind's eye while reading. Her red hair and cold-blue eyes, a lot of flowers, the perfumer's store, landscapes and the view on mountains in the sunset. And the music was great, in conjunction with a visual realization it makes a wonderful impression. There's nothing to be done, I just love beautiful pictures imagining them painted on canvas.

I feel a great physical tiredness after a day of walking and looking around. Beautiful leaves are falling down, it makes me feel thoughtful and mellow. Now I have a presentiment of some changes that are waiting for me if I do even the only one step away from the situation I am now impressed by. So, I decided to run (in spite of I wear high-heeled shoes, joking:)), it may take a long time, and maybe in the end I will find all that I have just left. I must do it or continue playing that game in the role of the marionette - but it's too hard. I am walking away, it's better, and I feel a fresh wind blowing straight.